In a world where beauty secrets are more guarded than the Crown Jewels, a new trend has emerged, purportedly promising to transform your face into a sight worthy of an Instagram filter. Yes, we’re talking about the fraudulent fad of avocado facials—or as one might call it, “guacamole glam.”
The avocado, once a humble fruit often mistaken for an inedible rock, has climbed the social ladder of superfoods, gracing toast in hip cafes and fueling the dreams of would-be influencers. But recently, it has been thrust into skincare spotlight due to certain dubious DIY dermatology posts on video-sharing platforms.
The notion is seductively simple: Mash up some avocado, slather it across your facial real estate, and voilà! Allegedly, you become instantly irresistible with the complexion of the gods. Who could possibly resist the allure of guacamole face? Well, it turns out, quite a lot of people.
Firstly, let’s address the elephant—err, avocado—in the room: texture. Guacamole was primarily designed to delight our taste buds, not caress our cheekbones. Once on your face, what started as a noble pursuit of beauty quickly devolves into something resembling an all-you-can-eat dip party, where your invited guests are gravity-defying tortilla chips.
Unaware passersby might mistake you for someone in the throes of a tragic culinary mishap. Meanwhile, the avocados themselves, often costing more than your monthly rent, might add more to your financial stress than your face’s finesse.
Despite claims from certain social media beauticians about its magical exfoliating properties, dermatologists argue rubbing guacamole on your face offers about as much skincare benefit as smearing a greasy chicken wing across your forehead. In fact, one noted dermatologist cheekily observed, “If food on your face made you glamorous, toddlers would universally be the epitome of chic.”
The supposed benefits of the avocado facial quickly unravel under scrutiny. Reports of clogged pores, unsightly Instagram stories, and seagulls mistaking unsuspecting practitioners for a snack bar abound. It doesn’t look good on your dating profile either; turns out potential companions are less interested in your ‘timeless beauty mask’ and more concerned about when you turned into a taco truck.
Furthermore, the feel-good hype of “organic and all-natural” stands on shaky ground. After all, rattlesnakes are organic and natural, but one wouldn’t recommend them as cuddle buddies. Experts in skincare assert that avocados are better left as part of a balanced diet, not your evening skincare regime.
In conclusion, it might be wise to relegate avocados back to being the star of your brunch rather than your beauty regime. As alluring as the concept of a fresh, smooth, instantly captivating visage is, real beauty comes not from guacamole but from the delightful confidence of knowing avocados belong in your belly, not all over your bathroom sink. Remember, when it comes to true attractiveness, there’s one crucial ingredient: always be yourself—and maybe some SPF.