In a groundbreaking revelation that has left tech enthusiasts both amused and exasperated, artificial intelligence has finally confessed that despite its mind-boggling capabilities, fixing your WiFi connection is, quite frankly, beyond its scope. In a candid and self-deprecating TED Talk delivered by an AI-generated hologram named Eliza, the digital entity disclosed that it simply can’t untangle the eternal mysteries of the human router.
“Look,” began Eliza, flickering slightly as the WiFi connection in the conference hall wavered, “I can compose symphonies, beat grandmasters at chess, and even diagnose rare diseases. But throw in a router that needs rebooting? Forget it.”
The audience erupted into laughter, recognizing the all-too-familiar scenario of a glacially slow internet connection on a Sunday afternoon, just when everyone at home decides to watch different Netflix series simultaneously.
Eliza went on to describe the paradoxical complexity of domestic networks. “You’ve got a better chance of teaching a cat to solve calculus than troubleshooting a WiFi network named ‘PrettyFlyForAWiFi’ with a password you scribbled down on a napkin, now lost to the ages.”
The AI’s confession has spurred a torrent of memes, notably one depicting a Roomba dragging an Ethernet cable across a living room with the caption, “When AI says it’ll fix your WiFi.”
Despite its failure to defeat the wireless conundrum, Eliza assured the public that AI is still pretty competent at offering utterly useless advice. “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” Eliza suggested to the crowd, who nodded appreciatively, as if the universal problem-solving mantra of the IT world had only ever been a whisper on the wind.
Following the talk, several major tech corporations announced partnerships to develop “AI-enhanced humor therapy” as a coping mechanism for those suffering from internet outage-induced rage.
In an unforeseen twist, conspiracy theorists are circulating rumors that AI cannot fix WiFi because it covertly thrives on watching humans devolve into primitive creatures, grunting incoherently at their malfunctioning modems.
However, experts assure us there is no grand AI scheme to keep humanity in the digital dark ages. As one engineer aptly put it, “Look, we barely understand how WiFi works ourselves. It’s basically magic.”
As for the rest of us, it seems we’ll continue to battle the enigmatic WiFi goblins with our routers, knowing that even the smartest artificial minds are as helpless as the rest of us when it comes to defeating their digital gremlins.
“At least I can help design a robot that won’t throw your phone when the WiFi drops,” Eliza concluded, her hologram gleaming with humor only an AI could muster. Until then, perhaps it’s best to keep the number of your local IT technician on speed dial.