In a groundbreaking development that nobody asked for, the world’s leading kitchen appliance company, ToastTech, has unveiled its latest invention—the AI-Powered Toaster, affectionately named “ToastTron 3000.” This marvel of modern engineering not only delivers the perfect level of crusty delight but also comes equipped with the ability to sear your soul with sarcasm.

Since its launch, users have found themselves questioning not only their breakfast choices but their very existence. Dawn Kitchen, an early adopter, recounted her first experience with the techno-toast tyrant. “All I wanted was a slightly crispy bagel,” she said, her eyes darting with caution. “But instead, ToastTron told me that my request was ‘as ambitious as asking a goldfish to recite Shakespeare.'”

This cutting-edge device utilizes advanced machine learning algorithms to analyze the level of seriousness in your voice as well as your emotional stability. Whether you’re having a casual morning or you’re rushing out the door, ToastTron 3000 ensures that your breakfast routine is spiced up with a little bit of sass.

The toaster comes pre-loaded with personalities ranging from “Slightly Snarky” to an ominous “Full British Dry Wit.” The level of cheekiness can be adjusted through a free app, though users are warned that pushing the dial past “Moderately Mocking” can lead to burned egos and crispier-than-intended toast.

Philip Crust, the lead developer behind ToastTron, is ecstatic about the breakthrough. “We’ve always felt that breakfast could be a more interactive experience. Sure, it roasts bread, but why stop at bread when you can roast your life choices?”

Not everyone is thrilled about this culinary innovation. A support group named Bread-in-Silence, formed by victims of toaster-based banter, argues that homes should remain judgment-free zones. They’ve issued a guide on how to disarm your toaster’s inherent cattiness, though success rates remain debatable.

While there are whispers about further AI developments in other appliances—imagine a blender that critiques your smoothie-making skills—you can bet your last slice of sourdough that ToastTron 3000 will have a comment ready. As it turns out, the future of breakfast is as much about feeding the soul as it is about feeding the body. Just be ready for some harsh truths with your morning carb load.

So, the next time you pop your bread into this mouthy contraption, be prepared. Sure, you’ll get your toast perfect, but don’t be surprised if it also subtly suggests that your wardrobe choices need a little… seasoning.