In a bewildering turn of events at 10 Downing Street, Prime Minister Boris Waitwhatson has mistakenly carried out a cabinet reshuffle only to find himself staring at a perfectly assembled IKEA wardrobe. The incident occurred late last night after a marathon strategy meeting that may have involved one too many cups of chamomile tea.
According to sources, the Prime Minister was looking to reinvigorate his top team when dear old ‘Flat-Pack Fever’ took over. What was intended as a careful rearrangement of ministerial portfolios somehow turned into a smorgasbord of Swedish storage solutions.
Aides were left scratching their heads when, instead of having the likes of the Chancellor and Foreign Secretary strolling into Number 10 the next morning, they were greeted by an elegant blend of modern design featuring sliding doors and ample interior space — the perfect metaphor for the current government, some would argue.
The wardrobe, much to everyone’s surprise, boasted an impressive lineup, including state-of-the-art hangers doubling as Home Office plans, a drawer designated for Economy Socks (oven-ready to jump out the EU), and a mysterious secret compartment ominously labeled ‘Brexit Unicorns’.
An inside source, who wished to remain anonymous, confessed: “It seems the Prime Minister might have taken the phrase ‘cabinet reshuffle’ a tad too literally. On the upside, the new lineup promises to be more organized, possibly less wooden, and infinitely better at keeping secrets… especially ones about storing mismatched policy socks.”
Critics quickly jumped at the opportunity, calling the mishap a Freudian slip of modern governance. Opposition leader Janice Reformus quipped, “This is possibly the most solid cabinet this government has ever produced. Finally, something constructed that’s more stable than their last five-year plan!”
Social media exploded with a spectrum of opinions. One viral parody highlighted the exhaustive effort required to assemble the original cabinet lineup, while another suggested setting up a toll booth and charging passing MPs to hang their political regrets in the pristine wardrobe space.
In an impromptu press conference held in front of the imposing, and arguably better-at-listening structure, the Prime Minister humorously downplayed the incident. “Well, at least this cabinet won’t be talking back. And it’s still more coherent than the time Bob from IT left us on mute during a virtual meeting,” Waitwhatson chuckled.
Experts predict this peculiar blunder could pave the way for a new era of open-door policies—literally. Meanwhile, interior decorators have labeled this unscripted transformation ‘a bold political feng shui moment.’
As the incredulous nation digests this uncanny episode, one thing remains clear: in politics, as in life, you sometimes just have to take the flat-pack challenges and assemble them into policy wardrobes — all without losing a screwdriver. The government may be on hold for now, but the storage wars at Downing Street have only just begun.