In a groundbreaking strategy to redefine corporate synergy and productivity, the CEO of the cutting-edge tech company, Innovatix, has decreed that all future meetings will be conducted solely through the art of interpretive dance. This bold move comes after a recent study suggested that 98% of traditional meetings could be replaced with an email that nobody reads. Determined to forge a path of enlightenment—and perhaps also to justify the company’s newly refurbished yoga studio—the CEO believes this artistic approach will elevate team unity and obliterate language barriers.

Employees were initially skeptical, leading to a flurry of confused emails and panicked glances at the HR department, now ironically silent on account of scouting for silk dance scarves. However, the company has enthusiastically embraced the change and over the past week, has hired a professional interpretive dance coach named Rainbow. Rainbow prefers to be referred to by her dance alter ego, “Flowing River,” and has diligently set to work choreographing the business essentials: “Budget Approval Ballet,” “The Macarena of Market Strategy,” and the particularly ambitious “Quarterly Projections Pas de Deux.”

While some managers initially struggled to express “increased Q2 earnings” through movement, Flowing River did share a useful tip: “If in doubt, channel your inner tree swaying in a gentle fiscal year breeze.” The finance department reportedly had a breakthrough when they mastered the “Cost-Cutting Cha-Cha” with unprecedented enthusiasm. Unfortunately, it resulted in a minor sprain for Ted in accounting, who perhaps cut a little too much from the dance floor.

To soothe concerns about productivity, Innovatix has allowed employees to communicate urgent issues through synchronized eye contact and jazz hands, thus ensuring no essential query goes unanswered. An unexpected benefit has been the growing camaraderie as staff bond over what is being called the “P45 Pirouette,” the affectionate nickname for exiting the company, usually marked by a graceful slide out the door.

While it’s too early to measure true productivity improvements, initial feedback seems overwhelmingly positive. One anonymous employee declared, “I’ve never been more motivated to pitch a project—and my calves have never been this defined!” In addition, the company has enjoyed a notable increase in expressive flair, particularly during the mandatory “Interpretive Happy Hour,” where employees de-stress by motioning their way through a particularly spirited interpretation of achievements and libations.

Despite her best efforts, Debbie from IT remains slightly hesitant—claiming “buffer overflow” is difficult to mimic without advanced rhythm skills—but colleagues remain supportive, frequently leaving post-it notes reading “impressive footwork on the firewall samba.”

Companies around the world are reportedly eyeing Innovatix’s initiative with a mix of admiration and mild sobriety. Several executives have already bookmarked “Dance for Dummies” on their laptops. Will this harmonized approach to corporate engagement prove to be a fleeting statement piece or a herald of office future? Either way, the drumbeat of change has begun, with employees twirling brightly to the mantra: “Every spreadsheet is a stage.”