In a groundbreaking move likely to make the sound of snoring the new anthem of office spaces across the nation, the Prime Minister has announced a revolutionary policy intended to bolster workplace productivity: official government-sanctioned nap times. Dubbed as the “Slumber for Success” initiative, the policy mandates a 20-minute power nap for all public servants and strongly recommends the same for private sector employees.

The official announcement was naturally scheduled for 3:00 PM—often nicknamed the “Post-Lunch Siesta Zone”—a strategic decision to target those struggling through the dreaded early afternoon slump. Rumor has it that the idea came to the PM after observing that his cat, Muffin, always seemed remarkably efficient in its daily routines, managing no less than 16 power naps a day while still effectively terrorizing the household goldfish.

At the heart of the new policy is the establishment of “Nap Zones” in every government building. These sanctuaries of snooze will come equipped with beanbag chairs, soft lighting, and strategically placed lullabies performed by very confused former rock musicians. Additionally, officers with particularly heavy workloads will be assigned official “Nap Deputies” to gently tuck them in and ensure no mischievous colleagues try to replace their sound machine with audio recordings of political debates.

The Prime Minister stressed that far from encouraging laziness, this policy is backed by science suggesting that short naps can boost cognitive function, creativity, and even occasionally provide the clarity needed to remember your email password the first time.

In response to skeptical members of the opposition who questioned the sanity behind paying civil servants to “essentially become potatoes,” the PM replied: “Look, productivity isn’t about the hours you put in. It’s about the wakefulness you bring to those hours. Plus, everyone knows you can’t argue effectively post-snooze! Half my cabinet voted for this policy after napping through the decision-making meeting.”

The policy rollout wasn’t without its hiccups. In a rehearsal of the initiative conducted at a small government office in Slumberland, sleepy civil servants were so energized post-nap that they inadvertently reorganized the entire filing system into “favorite colors” instead of alphabetical order. Despite such chaos, morale was reportedly at an all-time high, with worker satisfaction survey responses ranging from “blissfully refreshed” to “I think I drooled a bit.”

The business community has shown mixed reactions, with some entrepreneurial spirits already seizing the opportunity to market peppy alarm pillows and noise-canceling pajamas. Meanwhile, tech developers are frantically coding apps that track the optimal nap time through breakthrough face-slump detection technology.

Reports indicate that international observers will closely watch the policy’s impact, with rumors that one European leader has already ordered nap pods shaped like baguettes. As the policy takes effect nationwide, public debate rises about how the British workers’ traditional tea break will compete or coexist with the new nap culture.

Perhaps the most compelling testimonial came from a mid-level bureaucrat who, after his inaugural government nap, declared, “For the first time in my life, I feel like I actually have time to both save the world and shop for organic tomatoes.”

Whether this bold new strategy will trigger a productivity renaissance or simply herald the rise of workplace pajama fashion remains to be seen. The one certainty is that, for better or worse, the pulse of productivity in offices everywhere might soon sound suspiciously like gentle snoring.

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