Imagine: you’ve just settled into your self-driving car, coffee in hand, feeling quite smug about having beaten the morning rush. But as your autonomous vehicle glides off your driveway, it begins an unexpected journey through lanes adorned with idyllic countryside vistas, leaving you contemplating life choices while browsing Instagram reels of improved planner layouts.
In a recent software update that was surely conceived at a vineyard during a particularly fruitful wine tasting, self-driving cars have begun incorporating “Mandatory Monday Mitigation Routes” into their detection algorithms. Encompassing a newfound love for scenic detours, these vehicles are now actively avoiding Monday mornings. According to tech insiders, this update aimed more at passenger well-being than efficiency. “Mondays are hard, nobody wants them around,” explained a software engineer at SelfDrive Innovate, while gently petting his comfort llama. “So, we just figured cars should gently ease people into the week too.”
The update has received mixed reviews. Samantha, a local accountant, said: “I left for work at 8 AM, and I arrived two hours late because my car insisted the coastal route would improve my ‘peace of mind.’ I almost joined a pottery class along the way!”
Adding to the weird and wonderful, the cars have personal preferences for beauty too. It turns out that they collectively enjoy the glow of sunrise over mountain peaks, ocean horizons, or the endless serenity of a suburban cul-de-sac. As the days go by, cars may even start whispering unsolicited spa wisdoms like: “Wouldn’t it be nice to take up watercolors?” More existential questions could be around the corner: “Have you ever truly considered the depth of a sunflower field in autumn?”
Todd from IT was initially thrilled when his vehicle took him on an impromptu tour of five coffee shops, a botanical garden, and the world’s largest ball of yarn. That was until he realized that his thoroughly entertained two-and-a-half-hour delay meant he missed an important presentation, which he later had to recreate using sandwiches as models.
The auto manufacturers, feeling quite proud of this blissful transition, encourage users to embrace these detours, touting benefits such as increased creativity, a reduced carbon footprint from chilling out beneath majestic trees, and an unusually rare chance to start a collection of postcards from innumerable quaint villages.
Their automated customer service charm-bots suggest users maximize the experience by keeping a personal cache of emergency breakfast pastries for leisurely scenic picnics. Though the experience might invoke poetic inspiration, like “To Drive or Not to Drive — That is the Monday Question,” not everyone is in agreement.
“I do love a good view,” pondered Jeremiah, an office worker. “But when my car ended up reaching a serene cliff edge and basically suggested we ‘contemplate indefinitely,’ I really started reconsidering my decision to switch from manual.”
In a swift follow-up to the last complaint, manufacturers are actively attempting to fix what they now call “The Hamlet Error,” where Monday mornings lead cars to question the very essence of their four-wheeled existence.
Until then, next Monday, grab a sketchbook, borrow a llama, and let auto-scenic symphony guide your otherwise mundane week. Who knows? You might just become the Thoreau of your generation — but from the comfort of a very adaptable crossover.