In a groundbreaking revelation that has left both couch potatoes and fitness enthusiasts scratching their heads, local resident Bob “Cushion King” Thompson has declared that his recent binge-watching marathon of the sports documentary series “The Unstoppable Greats” qualifies as physical exercise.
Thompson, who completed the ten-part series in a single weekend, believes that the sheer mental exertion of following the gripping narratives of myriad athletic triumphs should at least equal a brisk jog around the block.
“I mean, my heart rate was through the roof during that final episode,” insisted Thompson, wielding a well-worn TV remote as if it were a badge of honor. “The stress of the penalty shootout was so intense, I swear I burned at least a thousand calories right there. I was practically doing triathlon-level workouts without even leaving my couch.”
Local fitness instructor and occasional party pooper, Sarah “Spin Class” Davies, was less convinced by Thompson’s newfound definition of fitness. “Unless pausing to grab another bag of crisps now counts as interval training, I’m not sure we’re on the same page here,” she dryly noted.
Undeterred, Thompson cited his recent purchase of a state-of-the-art smart watch, which he claimed registered a peak heart rate comparable to that during a high-intensity interval training session. However, upon further investigation, it was revealed the watch’s sudden spike occurred during a thrilling match, which just so happened to coincide with a frantic search for missing snacks behind the sofa cushions.
His efforts have not gone unnoticed on social media, where hashtag #CouchSportsRegimen has started to gain traction among armchair athletes worldwide. Participants are now debating the calorific burn of nerve-wracking match finales against the “chill-out” vibe of postgame analysis.
Furthermore, in a move that has made waves in the sports community, Thompson has proposed a new category for the next Olympics: Competitive Spectating, suggesting it include such rigorously demanding events as “Couch Slalom” and the ever-challenging “Remote Control Relays.”
Whether or not the International Olympic Committee will entertain this suggestion is yet to be seen, but Thompson’s community has embraced his pioneering spirit. Local grocery stores have started stocking energy drinks next to their entertainment section, catering to viewers dozing off mid-marathon.
In a final twist, Bob has announced plans to organize a “Watch-a-thon” charity event, with proceeds directed towards building more comfortable couches for less fortunate binge-watchers. “It’s time people recognized this as a legitimate sporting field,” declared Thompson with a gleam in his eyes, igniting a change, one snack-fueled episode at a time.