In an unprecedented feat of frustration and futility, a gamer known only by his online alias, “RageQuitRandy,” has etched his name into the annals of history by setting a world record for the most rage quits in a single hour whilst attempting to escape the confines of a particularly tricky tutorial level.
The 23-year-old, whose real name is believed to be Randy, embarked on this unexpected quest in the wee hours of Saturday morning, fuelled by a mix of caffeine, determination, and a desire to unshackle himself from the tutorial level of “Epic Adventures: Beginner’s Nightmare.”
Friends describe Randy as a seasoned gamer, someone whose thumbs have been honed by years of wielding controllers like they were born to handle them. Yet, even his dexterity and commitment were no match for what developers have dubbed “The Beginner’s Paradox.”
“The tutorial is supposed to be easy,” said a visibly confused Randy in an exclusive interview. “They lure you in with promises of simple mechanics, but all I got was a level that’s harder to beat than my old high school chemistry class.”
The record-setting session began innocently enough, with Randy confidently launching the game. However, things quickly spiraled out of control when he struggled with the seemingly straightforward task of equipping a virtual backpack.
“What kind of backpack requires a mini-game just to open?” Randy exclaimed during attempt number 37, already four coffees in.
Eyewitnesses—primarily Randy’s collection of online friends who were voice chatting during the ordeal—reported that Randy’s rage-quit method varied from the classic console shutdown to more ambitious tactics like unplugging his router mid-game or inventively swearing at his monitor in seven different fictional languages.
Gamer celebrant and meme lord “LOLZilla” commented, “We could actually hear his soul leaving his body every time he hit the start button. It was both tragic and awe-inspiring.”
Halfway through the hour, Randy reportedly attempted to negotiate with the game’s automated help bot, imploring for a skip feature or at least a waypoint hack. “I even Googled cheat codes! Who puts micro-transactions in a tutorial level anyway?” Randy lamented, his voice tinged with desperation.
Amidst the storm of exits, Randy managed to set a new world record with a whopping 53 rage quits before his console overheated—as did his patience—prompting one of gaming’s legends: the ceremonial unplugging. The incident has since sparked a heated debate about game design and the sadistic potential of tutorial levels.
Despite the ordeal, the night ended on a positive note with Randy’s valiant perseverance garnering him an unexpected fan club. “Team Rage Quit” now follows him with a hashtag trending across social media, complete with memes of Randy crowned as the reluctant King of Unfinished Tutorials.
Meanwhile, “Epic Adventures” developers issued a cheeky statement: “Congratulations to Randy. The quest was designed to season beginners. We never expected it to harvest a champion.”
As Randy retired for the night, he pondered on whether retirement from the virtual realm might be a wise choice, but not without a parting thought: “Tomorrow, I’m going to finish that tutorial. Or at least try… again.”