In a surprising turn of events, millennials around the world have officially adopted avocado toast as their primary form of currency. The decision was ratified over a consensus formed on various social media platforms, primarily through a groundbreaking Twitter poll that attracted a staggering 3 million retweets in just 24 hours.

Economists, hipsters, and brunch enthusiasts everywhere have responded with a mix of shock and awe. The International Monetary Fund is reportedly in crisis mode, attempting to update its exchange rate systems to accommodate the new millennial currency standard. Meanwhile, avocado farmers in California and Mexico are celebrating their sudden elevation to billionaire status overnight.

The transition hasn’t been without controversy. Purists argue that the avocado’s ripeness should determine its value. A perfectly ripe avocado toast slice is worth a solid £20, while one that’s even slightly brown can drop to as low as £5. A savvy subculture of “avocado assessors” has cropped up, offering services to ensure exchange fairness through meticulous inspections, squishing, and sniff tests.

In cities across the globe, millennials can now be seen lining up at ATM machines, which have abandoned traditional banknotes in favor of slicing freshly baked sourdough topped with the luscious green spread. To counter initial logistical issues, major tech companies have introduced new payment systems: Apple Avocado Pay, Google Green, and ToastPal, each taking a small “crumb fee” per transaction.

In a desperate attempt to keep up with these developments, the European Central Bank is busy designing a special encrypted digital currency known as “CravoCoin.” Simultaneously, cryptocurrency miners are baffled by the surge in avocado mining, an arduous process requiring sophisticated blender technology to extract maximum value from the green gold.

The cultural impact is already being felt worldwide. Millennials are reporting unprecedented levels of joy, financial independence, and increased fiber intake. Some have even speculated that this new economy could herald the end of hunger, as long as everyone globally develops an uncontrollable love for avocado toast.

While older generations look on in bewilderment, muttering about good old-fashioned cash and vegetables that do not masquerade as monetary systems, the change seems irrevocable. Analysts predict a future where housing mortgages, university tuition fees, and even entire series of Netflix subscriptions are paid in hearty slices of chilled avocado draped elegantly over toasted bread.

As the world adjusts to this bold, avocado-filled era, the only clear future ahead seems to be one where the humble avocado toast reigns supreme, ensuring that breakfast enthusiasts remain rich both in heart and pocket.