In a groundbreaking and somewhat unprecedented move, the renowned CEO of tech giant SlumberTech Inc., Ms. Sandy Snooze, has implemented a new office dress code that is sure to turn heads—albeit very sleepily. In an internal memo leaked by an anonymous source (probably someone in a Snorlax onesie), the company announced that pajamas and slippers are now mandatory workplace attire. Ms. Snooze believes this change will revolutionize the way we look at productivity, not to mention make the usual Monday morning fashion faux pas almost impossible.
During a virtual press conference broadcast live from her bed, flanked by a sea of decorative pillows, Ms. Snooze explained her rationale. “Studies have shown that comfort is the key to creativity and efficiency,” she said, casually sipping on her herbal sleep tea. “By allowing employees to work in pajamas, we’re embracing a culture of comfort, leading to innovation and perhaps just a bit more napping in the nap pods we invested in last year.”
The policy states that all employees, regardless of rank, must don “appropriate bedtime attire” from Monday to Thursday. Friday remains casual, except formal slippers are required. It comes with a detailed guide to pajamas, which includes categories such as ‘luxury silk wear for the ambitious’ and ‘fleece fuzzy cloud patterns for those in accounting.’ Slippers must be soft-soled – “no hard slippers,” the memo warns sternly – and, preferably, of a whimsical nature.
Reaction within the office has been mixed. Gary from Finance appeared downright giddy when interviewed while wearing his “Trust Me, I’m a Jedi” pajama set. “This is a game-changer,” he declared, trying to contain his excitement under a thick layer of relaxation. “I used to spend hours ironing shirts—I can use that time now for an extra nap!”
Others aren’t as convinced. Karen, Head of Marketing, aired her grievances. “I have three young kids,” she said, gesturing to her Peppa Pig pajamas in defeat. “Now Work Karen is indistinguishable from Mum Karen, and there are only so many cartoon characters I can subject my colleagues to.”
The impact extends beyond mere attire as break rooms have now been converted into “slumber chambers” with blackout curtains and soothing whale sounds playing intermittently. Attendance at meetings is expected to be at an all-time high, with Power Naps scheduled right after each PowerPoint.
Competitors are hung up on whether this could indeed cause an industry-wide bedtime shakeup. Bob’s Bank has reportedly trialed a “Sleepwear Settlement Monday,” but insiders say it was a snooze-fest of a disaster after the Director of Compliance mistook the new policy as permission to host morning meetings from his duvet.
As a sign-off, Ms. Snooze quipped, “We must dare to dream, even during office hours.” The board is scheduled to meet for further discussion, assuming anyone remembers to set their alarms.
For now, the workforce remains awash with colorfully clad dreamers, drifting softly through their workdays, proving once again that at SlumberTech, sleep isn’t just a part of your night—it’s a way of life.