When Gary Thompson told his friends he was going to “teach his car to drive itself,” most assumed he meant buying one of those fancy self-driving models everyone’s been raving about. But Gary, a local IT helpdesk technician with nothing but time and a very old sedan, had other plans.
On Monday morning, Gary submitted a helpdesk ticket to his own company that read, “Need remote access to vehicle for autonomous driving configuration.” His colleagues tossed around guesses – was he joking? A prank? Turns out it was neither: Gary actually rigged his 2003 hatchback with a mish-mash of gadgets, Arduino boards, and questionable wiring that somehow allowed the car to respond to voice commands and basic traffic signals. He calls it “GaryBot 1.0.”
The build wasn’t without its quirks. After an initial test, the car confused a stop sign with a giant red balloon and honked enthusiastically at a squirrel. Despite this, Gary was thrilled. “It’s a bit like teaching a dog to drive – clumsy, occasionally confused, but endearing,” he told us.
However, his newfound confidence in his invention caused an unexpected side effect: Gary now refuses to sit behind the wheel and drive himself anywhere. “Why would I? GaryBot does a better job than I do – mostly,” he explained, twitching nervously as he glanced at the patchwork of wires poking out from under the dashboard.
His colleagues have since received multiple strange emails from Gary’s computer. One recent helpdesk update read: “GaryBot refuses to start unless window is rolled down exactly 3.7 inches and volume is set to 72%—any help?” Another asked for assistance debugging what he calls “auto-parking dance moves,” where the car performs a strange shimmy instead of parking straight.
The company is currently considering making GaryBot the official driver for their daily pizza deliveries, though the local margherita supplier is reportedly skeptical after the last delivery was returned with an enthusiastic but unsolicited honk and a single rose on the seat.
Until then, Gary remains proud of his tech creation, confident he’s ushered in the dawn of a new era for personal vehicles — and just a little relieved he doesn’t have to drive himself to the helpdesk anymore.