Mars Highway, Sector 9 – What started as a low-key cookout has exploded into the biggest intergalactic traffic jam since the Great Saturn Ring Slip of ’42. Alien barbecue enthusiasts from across the galaxy converged en masse on the otherwise quiet Mars Highway, turning a simple road trip into a cosmic crawl. Eyewitnesses report that dozens of saucer-shaped grills and one suspiciously large sentient meatball caused gridlock that stretched from Olympus Mons to Valles Marineris.
Local Martian commuters were caught unprepared as the annual “Grill ‘n’ Chill Cosmos Bash” unexpectedly attracted an entire fleet of extraterrestrial foodies. The festival, originally intended as a small gathering for sharing cosmic kebabs and zero-gravity ribs, rapidly spiraled out of control after someone introduced “supernova sauce,” resulting in a five-alarm spiciness emergency.
“I just wanted to get to the grocery dome, but ended up stuck next to a Zognoid fire-breathing grill master who was flaring up suddenly and literally setting the air on fire,” lamented local Martian driver, Vel Q’trk. “At one point, a rogue asteroid-shaped meat platter zoomed across the traffic lanes, causing a chain reaction of hover-scooter pile-ups.”
Interstellar traffic control scrambled to deploy drones equipped with giant cosmic spatulas to separate the bunch of enthusiastic chefs and snack lovers. Rumor has it that they even considered inviting a few black hole vendors to swallow up the congestion, but decided the collateral damage would be too much.
Meanwhile, the barbecue festival itself thrived amid the vehicular chaos. Alien pop band ‘The Seared Suns’ livestreamed the event while launching flying saucer-shaped cupcakes to the hungry crowd. The festival’s founder, Chef Z’bnook of Glorp-5, hinted that next year’s event might include intergalactic chili cook-offs and, surprisingly, a zero-emission space grill powered by solar flair.
Martian officials are now planning to implement “No Barbecue Zones” along the highway during peak travel hours, but admit it might be futile given the undeniable universal appeal of grilled, charred, and possibly radioactive snacks.
For now, Mars commuters are advised to pack patience—and maybe their own cosmic condiment packets—because the alien barbecue craze is clearly here to stay.