In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the corporate world, local tech startup ZzzTech has announced it will switch to nap-only work hours starting next month. CEO Dave Snoozington revealed the unconventional strategy during a press conference held entirely from his office couch, declaring that the company will operate from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.—the peak nap window scientifically proven to enhance creativity and reduce snack cravings.
“Studies show that when employees nap, productivity skyrockets by approximately 300%, or at least it feels that way,” Snoozington said while adjusting his eye mask. “Why waste time typing emails when we can dream up better ideas?”
Employees were given mixed reactions to the news. UX designer Molly Driftwood reportedly cried tears of joy, saying, “Finally, my lifelong dream of getting paid to nap is within reach.” However, software engineer Tim Wakefield expressed concerns. “I fear the new hours might encourage excessive drooling and awkward pillow choices,” he said, clutching his ergonomic neck cushion tightly.
Productivity analysts remain skeptical but intrigued. Dr. Siesta Restwell of the National Institute of Corporate Napping (NICN) commented, “While this approach upends typical work paradigms, there is evidence naps can improve memory retention and mood—critical for brainstorming sessions or, well, dreaming sessions.”
ZzzTech’s marketing team is already planning a campaign featuring slogans such as “Power Down to Power Up” and “Dream Big, Work Nap.” The company cafeteria will reportedly switch to serving only sleep-inducing chamomile tea and warm milk, potentially triggering a new wave of food trends focused on enhancing nap quality.
In an unexpected twist, the IT department announced they will implement a “do not disturb” setting company-wide from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., meaning all notifications, meetings, and urgent emails will be automatically hushed.
In other news, competitors have started to mimic ZzzTech’s nap-only hours, with one rival admitting, “If we’re all just going to nap, we might as well enjoy it together.”
As the world watches to see if ZzzTech’s nap experiment turns out to be a wake-up call or just another pillow fight, employees are preparing their comfiest pajamas and fluffiest blankets. Early reports suggest the break room already has the aroma of lavender and the occasional snore echoing through the halls.