Yesterday at approximately 3:17 pm GMT, the Solar System IT Support Helpdesk received an unusual distress call that left technicians scratching their heads and questioning their career choices. The ticket, logged under “Urgent Intergalactic Connectivity Issue,” came from none other than Zorblax-9, a representative from the Andromeda Nebula’s Galactic Federation.
According to the message, Zorblax-9 was in the middle of a highly sensitive Zoom meeting involving various alien species from sectors 7G to 12Q when Earth’s Wi-Fi decided to engage in what they described as “random teleportation to offline mode.” The meeting, which was intended to finalize peaceful trade agreements and coordinate the galaxy’s annual Dance of the Comet Fiesta, was abruptly interrupted multiple times by Earth’s unstable internet connection. Zorblax-9’s description included such phrases as “pixelated tentacles,” “galactic diplomats turning into static,” and “the dreaded buffering wormhole.”
The helpdesk operator, a junior tech named Dave who admitted to being both perplexed and thrilled by the interstellar call, tried standard troubleshooting steps over chat. These included advising Zorblax-9 to “turn it off and on again” (in this case, a quantum router), checking for nearby cosmic rays causing interference, and the unusual suggestion of relocating the meeting host from “Earth Zone 3” to a less problematic digital quadrant. Sadly, none of these remedies solved the issue.
In an unexpected twist, Zorblax-9 submitted logs showing Earth’s Wi-Fi signal fluctuating due to “sunspot outbreaks” and interference from “terrestrial cats walking across router devices” — an explanation that has since sparked a galaxy-wide meme sensation. The Galactic Federation has since requested that Earth’s species designate certain “No Cat Zones” around communication hardware to prevent further cosmic disturbances.
The incident ended with Zorblax-9 politely requesting a “speedy firmware update” and a follow-up call from Earth’s helpdesk to ensure no further “internet black holes” disrupt future meetings. The support team has since installed a firewall feature named “No Buffer Zone” and promised to monitor Earth’s Wi-Fi performance for any unusual gravitational anomalies.
When asked for a comment, Dave said, “I never knew fixing Wi-Fi could be a matter of intergalactic diplomacy. I guess if we can’t keep Zoom meetings stable, we might as well start practicing our alien apologies.”
Space officials are hopeful that with Earth’s Wi-Fi now under interstellar scrutiny, future meetings will run smoother — or at least have fewer buffering wormholes. Meanwhile, the Galactic Federation is reportedly considering upgrading their entire conferencing platform to something less reliant on Earth’s notoriously spotty internet.