A routine day at the local IT helpdesk took an unexpected cosmic turn yesterday when Dave, resident IT support technician at Technoserv Solutions, accidentally “unplugged” the entire universe. The incident reportedly occurred shortly after Dave received a somewhat unusual helpdesk ticket labeled “URGENT: Universe not responding.”
According to sources close to the scene, Dave was performing a routine server reboot at around 10:13 AM when he intended to unplug an overloaded power strip. However, due to a confusing cable tangle labeled only with cryptic symbols (“Ω∆ψ”), Dave inadvertently yanked out what he later described as “the biggest plug I’ve ever seen,” which—mysteriously—appeared to be connected to the whole universe.
Moments after the cord was pulled, reports flooded in from around the globe—and some galaxies beyond—that everything had suddenly gone dark. Local birds were reportedly confused, streetlights refused to switch on, and one small boy attempted to test if gravity was still working by jumping off the school’s roof (he was fine, source confirms). Meanwhile, plants refused to photosynthesize, clocks stopped ticking, and someone’s forgotten coffee instantly went cold.
In true helpdesk fashion, Dave immediately opened a ticket with a status update simply reading, “Universe power outage, please advise. Restart instructions urgently needed.” What followed was an intense exchange of messages with a bewildered and uncontactable “Higher Support Tier” whose last known response was an automated email that read, “Have you tried turning space off and on again?”
Technoserv Solutions CEO Jane Fletcher commented, “We always knew Dave had the kind of talent that could shake things up, but unplugging the whole cosmos was unexpected. We are currently working with astrophysical consultants and our electrical contractor to put things back online as soon as possible.”
Despite the mishap, galaxy-wide systems seem to be slowly rebooting, with regions of the Milky Way sporadically flickering back to life. Meanwhile, Dave has been reassigned to the paper jam squad while the cosmic incident undergoes further analysis. When asked how he felt about the mishap, Dave sighed, “I just wanted to fix the Wi-Fi.”
Stay tuned for updates as the universe’s IT department works on patching this massive outage—though they remind everyone that, “Universe restarts are notoriously slow and may require several snacks.”