An urgent helpdesk ticket landed in IT support’s inbox this morning, sparking what has now been dubbed the Great Cybersecurity Crisis of the Century—or at least of the week. The ticket, submitted by an employee named Greg from the accounting department, began with the alarming message: “Laptop not toasting properly. Needs urgent fix.”
At first, the helpdesk team assumed it was a simple typo or some obscure tech slang. However, further investigation revealed the truth: Greg had apparently confused his work laptop for a toaster. According to logs and eyewitness accounts, Greg had plugged his laptop into a power socket inside the office kitchen toaster outlet—a rather suspicious power strip labeled “TOAST” for some unexplained reason—and then attempted to “toast” his mid-morning bagel using what he thought was the laptop’s heating function.
“We were baffled,” said Lucy from IT support. “Our first thought was that maybe he was trying some new productivity hack or demonstrating multitasking innovation. But no, Greg literally pressed ‘Toast’ on his laptop screen, expecting the machine to warm his bread.”
Unsurprisingly, the laptop didn’t toast the bagel. Instead, it began overheating dramatically, triggering fire alarms and leading to a brief evacuation of the building. In the helpdesk ticket, Greg wrote, “Bagel ejection error and smoke detected. Also laptop appears mildly singed. Please advise.”
IT techs rushed to the scene and found the laptop lying next to a slightly charred toaster, with crumbs suspiciously scattered across the keyboard. What followed was a rapid cybersecurity response upon discovering that, in his attempt to toast breakfast using company hardware, Greg had inadvertently disabled the device’s firewall and downloaded an app humorously named “BreadBurner Pro” recommended by one of his “internet toast forums.”
The security team confirmed that the “BreadBurner Pro” software contained malware disguised as a bread-crisping tool, now wreaking havoc inside the company’s secure network. As a precaution, all laptops connected to the network have been recalled for immediate inspection.
Greg’s manager commented, “We always knew Greg was a bit of a character, but confusing a laptop with a toaster was above and beyond. We’re investing in a toaster awareness seminar next week to prevent similar incidents.”
In the meantime, IT support advises employees to keep their devices firmly away from the kitchen appliances, and anyone found attempting to toast electronics will be subject to mandatory “Tech Etiquette” retraining—which may or may not involve actual toasting demonstrations.
Helpdesk’s current status: one charred laptop, one mildly traumatized bagel, and a rapidly growing collection of “Toastgate” memes.