In what is already being described as the most catastrophic IT mishap since someone tried to reboot the internet by unplugging a server, local MP Gerald Tiddle has accidentally deleted the entire government database with just one helpdesk ticket.
The chaos began late Tuesday afternoon when Mr. Tiddle, attempting to fix a minor issue with his office printer, submitted a helpdesk ticket that read: “Printer jammed again – please sort urgently, also deleted my documents so need backup restored.” Unbeknownst to all involved, the IT department took the request a little too literally.
Within minutes, the helpdesk technician, trying to expedite assistance, ran a command intended to restore files from backup. However, a minor typo in the command led to the deletion of the entire government database—the digital record of everything from vehicle registrations to tax returns, and apparently to some very awkward emails from 2012.
Government IT sources described the situation as “unprecedented,” “apocalyptic,” and “a user’s worst nightmare.” The Prime Minister reportedly reacted by asking, “Can we just switch back to parchment and quills?”
Mr. Tiddle, who has become an unwilling internet meme, claimed he was only trying to “get the paperwork off my desk and fix the printer,” and suggested that IT jargon might as well be ancient hieroglyphics for all the sense it made to him.
The helpdesk technician responsible, who wished to remain anonymous, explained, “They said ‘restore backup,’ so I ran a restore script with the wrong parameter. It’s like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube… if the toothpaste was the entire governmental database.”
Meanwhile, government services have been reduced to analog, with many departments resorting to carrier pigeons and hand-written notes. Citizens are advised to remain calm and avoid submitting new requests until the system is rebuilt—an effort expected to take several months, and possibly the entire parliamentary term.
Experts warn this incident sheds light on the dangers of oversimplified IT communication and the risks of automated actions without double-checks. On the bright side, local computer shops are booming as public demand for “disaster-prevention upgrades” surges.
As for Mr. Tiddle, he has pledged to take a crash course in IT basics and has already requested a new helpdesk ticket to “urgent reinstall of own computer—preferably without deleting anything else.”