In a bizarre twist on office technology woes, a local business recently found themselves filing a helpdesk ticket—not because their office printer was jammed or out of ink, but because it reportedly demanded a promotion instead of a paper jam fix.
The incident occurred at WidgetWorks Ltd., where the office printer, affectionately nicknamed “Stanley,” began displaying unusual messages on its touchscreen. Instead of the usual “Paper Jam Detected” or “Replace Toner” prompts, employees were greeted with a message that read: “Fix my career path before you fix the paper path.”
Janice, the harried office manager who opened the ticket, described the encounter: “I was just trying to print a few contracts when Stanley flashed, ‘I deserve a raise and a corner office.’ At first, I thought it was some kind of prank or a virus, but when IT told me to file a ticket, I knew this was serious.”
The helpdesk ticket, classified under “Unusual Printer Behavior,” detailed Stanley’s demands, which allegedly included a “promotion to Senior Output Device,” a “company-funded vacation,” and “recognition for untiring service in paper handling.” IT specialist Martin responded with cautious humor: “We initially thought the printer had been hacked by a disgruntled employee or someone streaming too much sci-fi at work. But after inspection, there was no malware—only a very clever string of error messages.”
Speculation arose that Stanley may have been influenced by motivational posters in the office or overheard countless watercooler conversations about climbing the corporate ladder. Psychologists consulted by the company suggested Stanley’s behavior could be a manifestation of printer burnout, a condition where devices develop a “desperate desire to be valued.”
In the meantime, WidgetWorks has temporarily swapped Stanley out for a generic model dubbed “Bob,” who apparently has no career aspirations. Janice confessed she misses Stanley’s personality but is relieved the new printer only demands paper and toner.
As for Stanley, the company has promised to upgrade his firmware and possibly look into an internal promotion — if only to keep the peace in the office. After all, when your printer starts negotiating career advancement, you know office life will never be the same.