In an unprecedented move that has left both constituents and civil servants scratching their heads, local MP Gerald Puddlewick has officially opened a helpdesk ticket—not for a constituent issue, but to complain about receiving too many helpdesk tickets from voters.
The ticket, submitted via the parliamentary IT department’s internal system, detailed Mr. Puddlewick’s growing frustration with the sheer volume of emails, calls, and carrier pigeon messages flooding his office each week. “I’m no stranger to hard work,” the ticket read, “but the constant barrage of helpdesk requests from my voters is beginning to feel like a helpdesk ticket overload. Requesting urgent assistance to manage this influx.”
Sources within the IT department say the ticket was initially flagged as a joke, but quickly escalated when Mr. Puddlewick insisted it be treated as a priority. “Normally, MPs field complaints or reports about roadworks, school issues, or local services,” said one technician, “but this was the first time we’ve ever had to troubleshoot an MP’s complaint about the frequency of support tickets they were receiving from their own constituents.”
The ticket included a list of the most common requests, ranging from “Why is my street light out?” to “When will the pothole on Baker Street be fixed?” to more idiosyncratic queries like “Can you arrange a bake sale for charity?” and “Will you support my petition about squirrels in the town park?”
In a follow-up message, Mr. Puddlewick added, “While I appreciate citizen engagement, continuous engagement engagement has become an engagement emergency. Requesting a workflow upgrade or, if possible, a citizen patience buffer.”
Consternation has spread through local council offices as staff debated how best to respond. Some suggested automated replies, while others proposed a virtual assistant to field routine questions. However, one particularly creative clerk proposed sending voters blank feedback forms as a test of their persistence.
Despite the outcry, constituents remain undeterred. Local resident and frequent ticket submitter Sheila Blenkinsop said, “I’m glad the MP cares enough to notice us. Maybe now he’ll actually fix the problems instead of logging complaints about our complaints.”
For now, the helpdesk ticket remains open with the status “Under Investigation,” as Parliament’s IT team attempts to unravel the knotty issue of an MP overwhelmed by the very service designed to help his voters.
Whether this novel complaint system will lead to reform or simply spawn more helpdesk tickets is yet to be seen, but one thing is clear: even those who serve the people sometimes need a little help themselves.