In a stunning display of political tech-savvy (or lack thereof), local MP Nigel Bottomley sparked chaos in Parliament yesterday after accidentally hitting the ‘Ignore All’ button on a swarm of important bills awaiting his attention. In what officials are calling an “unprecedented procedural hiccup,” Bottomley promptly filed a helpdesk ticket requesting a full reboot of Parliament’s entire legislative system.
The incident occurred during what was supposed to be a routine scroll through his email inbox, where Bottomley, apparently trying to get rid of a barrage of junk mail, unleashed digital Armageddon by ignoring an extensive list of bills ranging from environmental reforms to public health initiatives. Realizing the gravity of the mistake, Bottomley did not try to manually re-address the issues or call for a traditional parliamentary session. Instead, in a move that left seasoned staffers scratching their heads, he submitted a ticket through Parliament’s IT helpdesk system with the subject line: “Please reboot Parliament ASAP.”
The ticket itself read, “Hello IT, I’ve accidentally hit ‘Ignore All’ on a load of very important documents and now nothing’s coming through. Can you please reboot Parliament? Thanks in advance, Nigel B.” The request was forwarded to the Parliamentary Digital Support Unit, who admitted they had never before received a ticket requesting an entire political reboot as opposed to a simple password reset or projector fix.
A spokesperson for the IT department commented, “While we’re all for efficiency, rebooting an entire political institution isn’t quite within the scope of our job… yet. We’ve escalated the matter to parliamentary procedure officers who are currently figuring out how to undo ‘Ignore All’ without triggering a constitutional meltdown.”
In the meantime, the overlooked bills remain in legislative limbo, forcing MPs to convene in what insiders are calling a “recovery session.” Meanwhile, Nigel Bottomley has reportedly been assigned mandatory training on email etiquette and parliamentary protocols, with some MPs jokingly suggesting he also receives classes in “Do Not Panic” and “How Not to Break Democracy for Dummies.”
When asked about the incident, Bottomley maintained a humorous stance, stating, “At least I found a new use for ‘Ignore All’ – I’ve always thought Parliament could run smoother with fewer emails. Maybe this is the future.”
As the saga unfolds, the nation watches nervously, hoping the only reboot needed is a minor software update rather than a full parliamentary system restore.