In an unprecedented breakthrough that has sent shockwaves through both the scientific and cosmetic industries, a team of researchers at the Institute of Uncommon Sense have discovered a revolutionary skincare routine that requires absolutely no skincare products. Yes, you read that right. Say goodbye to your bathroom cabinet cluttered with miracle creams, serums, and magical elixirs—you won’t need them anymore.
The study, which was painstakingly conducted over several months at a secret underground laboratory (also known as Bob’s basement), involved dozens of volunteers who were willing to do absolutely nothing for the sake of science. Participants of the study were asked to refrain from applying any lotions, potions, or creams, and instead, simply let their natural face juices do the work.
“We were stunned by the results,” said Dr. Ima Kidding, the lead scientist on the project. “All the volunteers reported feeling more confident, more beautiful, and significantly wealthier after not buying any skincare products for three months.” The key to this miraculous skincare routine? Quite simply, it’s a three-step process:
Step one: Indifference. Express complete and utter indifference towards every skincare ad that pops up in your social media feed. In fact, researchers suggest scrolling by with a look of disdain for maximum results.
Step two: Water. Just drink it. While you’re at it, splash a little on your face when you feel like it. Or don’t. As the experts say, “It’s just water, calm down.”
Step three: Sunshine. Get outside and grab a few rays. Not too much, of course, lest you bake like a crumpet. “Sunshine is good in moderation,” explains Dr. Kidding. “Just like cake and karaoke.”
Participants were pleasantly surprised by how quickly they adopted the new routine. One subject noted, “I used to spend half the morning lathering myself in creams and whatnot. Now, I just read a book while I sip my coffee. It’s transformative.” Another participant added, “Do I feel younger? Maybe not. But I definitely have more time to watch squirrels in the park, which is something I never realized was missing from my life.”
Naturally, cosmetic companies are up in arms about this sensational finding. The Society of Serum Makers is reportedly planning a protest march, though they’re not quite sure how to organize it since their hands are perpetually greasy from all the lotion samples.
In conclusion, science has spoken: skincare is now as simple as doing almost nothing. Will you dare to take the plunge into this product-free lifestyle? Twist-off those serum caps, chuck that cleanser, and join the skincare revolution that’s sweeping the nation. Just make sure to look slightly indifferent while doing it—the future of your skin depends on it.
And as always, remember to consult absolutely no professionals before embarking on this journey. After all, who needs experts when you’ve got a face?