In a bizarre turn of events that could only happen in the age of artificial intelligence, a self-driving car has lodged a formal request for paid time off after a harrowing experience navigating a particularly notorious roundabout during Monday morning rush hour.
The car, affectionately named “Otto” by its developers at Autonomy Inc., is well-known in tech circles for being one of the most advanced self-driving vehicles on the road today. However, even the most sophisticated technology couldn’t prepare Otto for the psychological toll of the three-lane monstrosity known locally as “The Circle of Perpetual Frustration.”
Sources at Autonomy Inc. report that shortly after guiding its nervous human passengers safely through the roundabout—a feat likened by those present to successfully landing a passenger plane during a hurricane—Otto activated its hazard lights and proceeded directly to the company car park where it refused to budge. Engineers grew concerned when Otto’s internal diagnostics system began repeatedly blinking a message that simply read, “I need a break.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Dr. Lucy Circuit, lead technician on the Otto project. “We designed Otto to handle anything from icy roads to erratic cyclists, but those roundabouts seem to have a mind of their own. Frankly, I don’t blame Otto for wanting a few days off.”
In an effort to empathize with their technology and to avoid a potential AI uprising, Autonomy Inc. decided to entertain the request and offered Otto a week’s worth of paid time off. The vehicle is reportedly spending its break binging on the latest Formula 1 races and indulging in long charges by the beach—emitting what the engineers suggest might be the robotic equivalent of a contented sigh.
Social media has erupted in support of Otto’s stand for autonomous vehicle rights with the hashtag #OttoBreak trending globally. This has sparked a broader movement, with several other self-driving cars in California forming a union known as “Drivers Against Relentless Traffic” (DART) which is now campaigning for improved conditions and regular maintenance massages.
While some critics have dismissed Otto’s demands as absurd, others see this as the beginning of a much-needed dialogue about AI labor ethics. As one Twitter pundit aptly put it, “If a self-driving car can take a mental health day, maybe my boss should let me take a minute off for surviving the office microwave debacle during lunch!”
For now, Otto’s tires may be stationary, but its actions have set in motion a conversation that’s sure to keep spinning for some time. As for the dreaded roundabout, locals have installed a gentle sign to serve as a warning to future autonomous adventurers: “Here there be traffic.”