In an unprecedented feat of patience and endurance, local gamer Jonathan Thompson has set an astonishing world record by completing an entire RPG without skipping a single cutscene. Thompson, who embarked on this epic quest not for fame or glory but to simply “see what he was missing,” has inadvertently become an overnight sensation.
The game in question, “Epic Quest of Eternal Time-Consuming Tasks IV,” is notorious for its labyrinthine plot and lengthy cinematic sequences. Critics claim the cutscenes last longer than the actual gameplay; some even suggest it should be classified as a TV miniseries.
When asked about his strategy, Thompson explained, “Well, I stocked up on snacks, hydrated regularly, and committed to taking micro-naps during the slower parts. Plus, I had my phone ready for some casual doomscrolling just to keep my sanity intact.”
During his four-month ordeal, Thompson became well-acquainted with every nuanced eyebrow raise and dramatic sigh from the game’s protagonist, became an unofficial expert in fantasy diplomatic relations, and even mastered lip-reading due to occasional subtitle glitches.
Friends and family were initially skeptical of Thompson’s endeavor. His roommate, Ted, admitted, “Honestly, I thought he was nuts. I mean, who watches all those scenes? But after a while, it became an event. We’d gather around every night with popcorn, trying to guess if this would be the cutscene that finally broke him.”
Thompson’s victory was recognized by the Gaming World Records Association, who awarded him with a limited edition gold-plated “Patience of a Saint” trophy, shaped ironically like a fast-forward button. Critics argue that watching every cutscene amounts to an immersive storytelling experience many gamers are missing out on, but whether this will spark a revolution in gaming culture remains to be seen.
However, the tale doesn’t end here. Bolstered by his newfound fame, Thompson has announced plans to tackle even greater challenges in the gaming realm. His next target? Completing a notoriously grind-heavy MMORPG without complaining about fetch quests. Godspeed, Jonathan. Godspeed.