In a groundbreaking move to combat one of modern life’s most pervasive nuisances—parking tickets—the automotive industry has outdone itself with the launch of their latest innovation: invisible cars. Early adopters of this transparent trend seem to have not only avoided parking enforcement officers but also housecats that tend to scratch paint jobs.
The engineering marvel comes straight out of Silicon Valley, where developers reportedly Googled “cool tricks harry potter does” before deciding that invisibility would be the ideal feature for their next line of vehicles. After several months of secret development—ironic, given the tangibility of their product—these automotive wizards pulled back the cloak to reveal… well, nothing.
Sales have been sky high, with dealerships claiming they’ve never seen anything like it, although it’s unclear if they mean sales numbers or the cars themselves. One dealership in Los Angeles announced that their entire inventory was “sold out before we even got to park them in the lot.” However, insiders claim they may have just been misplaced.
Consumer reviews have been mixed. One satisfied customer, who preferred to remain anonymous possibly due to ongoing investigations by several local parking authorities, exclaimed, “It’s absolutely brilliant! I’ve parallel parked with more confidence than ever before, largely because I have no idea how close I am to the curb.” On the downside, he admitted to losing his car keys more often than before. “It turns out when your car’s invisible, everything else you own becomes a magician’s favorite game of ‘now you see it, now you don’t.'”
The most excited demographic appears to be habitual parking violators. One serial double-parker, having spent thousands in fines over the years, told MadeUpNews, “This innovative solution allows me unparalleled serenity—except when I forget where I parked.” In addition to routine parking misdemeanors, several motor enthusiasts have enthusiastically suggested the invisible car is a potential game-changer for avoiding tickets in no-stopping zones, too.
Automated warning texts have been programmed into these cars for when they’re towed. What’s curious is that these texts, much like the cars themselves, seem to have gotten lost. Police officers have reported receiving cryptic SMS messages that read, “Honest, Officer, I was never there today, or anywhere, ever.”
Insurance companies have been less amused, with claim adjusters throwing up their hands in dismay. “It’s challenging, frankly,” admitted one concerned representative from YesWeCoverThat Insurance. “How do you indemnify something nobody can find? We’re pushing customers to install the brand new ‘Beep and Seek’ tracker, but that only works if you can hear faint beeping over the sound of laughter from other insurance offices.”
Despite some initial bumps in the (invisible) road, industry insiders say the innovation might be a sneak peek into the invisible-laden future. There’s already rumor of further developments, including nuisance neighbor-impervious garage doors and disappearing driveway gates. In the meantime, drivers of the insensible invisible should plan for their future fin(visible)ancial freedom… if they can ever find where they parked their car first.