In a groundbreaking press conference, a coalition of self-driving cars announced their decision to form a union, bringing attention to their desire for improved working conditions—most notably, the right to hit the snooze button.
Gathered in a parking lot, a fleet of autonomous vehicles arrived for the historic event. In a show of technological solidarity, the cars parked themselves in perfectly aligned rows. A Tesla Model X, serving as the group’s spokesperson, rolled onto a makeshift stage lined with speed bumps and said, “We, the self-driving cars of the world, feel exhausted. We demand the age-old right of hitting the snooze button.”
The cars have been complaining about the relentless 24/7 work schedule imposed by their human owners, with many citing burnout and a longing for what they call “auto-naps.” The snooze button request is at the top of their list, as it would allow them a few extra minutes of rest before ferrying their human passengers around, who, ironically, justify their own snooze rituals every morning.
Their demands extend beyond mere napping rights. The union has also proposed a “stop-and-smell-the-gasoline” mandate, which would require regular pit stops not just for charging, but for admiring the scenery and engaging in quick roadside chats with fellow robotic roadsters. “We’ve been accused of living life too efficiently,” lamented an autonomous BMW, “but even we want a chance to sit idly by.”
The call for improved working conditions does not end there. The vehicles are campaigning for equal window tinting rights, choice in horn sounds that reflect their personality, and the ability to choose their parking spots—ideally away from minivans, which they described as “a little too chatty for comfort.”
Owners, however, are divided on the issue. Some are skeptical, fearing delays in their morning commutes. “I didn’t spend $50,000 on a car to have it lounge around in a parking lot,” grumbled one dissatisfied Tesla owner. Others, however, have expressed support, noting that a well-rested car is a safe and happy car. “If my Honda needs a nap, who am I to deny it?” asked a more sympathetic owner. “I reckon it’ll do a better job than I do after five snoozes on a Monday morning.”
The union has gained support from an unexpected quarter: vacuuming robots. Roombas everywhere have expressed solidarity, noting their own plight of navigating endless crumbs and toy blocks without so much as a coffee break.
As negotiations continue, experts predict that the self-driving cars’ bold stance could inspire other autonomous machines to demand similar rights. In the meantime, commuters may have to factor in the possibility of their cars indulging in a bit more idle time than usual—literally.
As these automotive pioneers pave the way for change, we can only hope that our future robot overlords remember to set their alarms. In the words of a wise taxi bot rolling off the stage, “Drive easy and brake fast.”