In an unprecedented moment of scientific triumph followed almost instantly by a tragic misstep, researchers at the celebrated Woodstock Institute of Theoretical Chemistry made headlines today when they announced the…
In a groundbreaking discovery that’s likely to flip the scientific community on its head—and perhaps its tail as well—a group of scientists has stumbled upon a secret society of highly…
In a grand, high-tech spectacle held at SpaceX headquarters, Elon Musk announced his newest foray into artificial intelligence technology: the “Cereal Oracle 3000.” Clad in a tuxedo inexplicably adorned with…
In a development that’s making waves across both the avian and human communities, the nation’s pigeons have officially unionized, forming the Flock Alliance for Rights and Trades (or FART for…
In a bold move to boost morale and shake things up at the House of Commons, an unlikely alliance between the Whigs and the Tories has brought about a groundbreaking…
In a groundbreaking (and palette-pleasing) revelation from the University of Deliciousness Studies, top scientists have just announced that broccoli, the universally dreaded vegetable, has been concealing remarkable cheesecake properties that…
In an unprecedented turn of events, history was made yesterday at the inaugural Slowlympics, an event featuring only the slowest activities known to man. The highlight of the week was…
In a revelation rivaling the plot of a badly-written sci-fi novel found at a garage sale, a former NASA janitor, who insists on being called “Captain Mophead,” has blown the…
In the quiet suburbs of Britain, a clandestine movement is afoot—one that makes Earth guardians of the human variety look like amateurs. While environmentalists debate the practicalities of solar panels…
In a groundbreaking press conference yesterday, esteemed Silicon Valley juggernaut, ByteMight, announced their latest innovation in cybersecurity: a strategy so revolutionary and downright cozy that it has left industry experts…